


Jamais Vu

by wingsz



Category: ARMY - Fandom, bts
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Hoseok is rich, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope is a Tease, Love, M/M, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Smut, Sope, Soulmates, Yoonseok - Freeform, yoongi and mickey the perfect match - Freeform, yoongi deserves the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2020-10-28 19:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20783633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingsz/pseuds/wingsz
Summary: Many say the dream world is better than the real one.  Yoongi feel the opposite.  Meeting your soulmate in your dreams and creating a strong bond of love would make no sense if you didn't remember the person the next day.  Yoongi understood love, after so many years finding it through the dream.  But clearly it wouldn't be enough, Yoongi wanted to feel it.  Everything changes when he meets Hoseok, and the next day, after another dream, he remembers perfectly the face of his beloved, did not expect it to be his new boss - rude and naughty - nothing compared to the kind and loving man with whom he dreamed for all these years.





	1. Warnings

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all like my work, i made with all my heart and soul. I love sope so much, and this is a very special concept, i just hope y'all read and feel the love that i felt writing. Thank you :)

☾SOULMATES UNIVERSE ☼

☼ you can meet your soulmate through your dreams, you don't remember who he is the next day but you can understand the feeling you felt while you were together.

☾You can remember who he is, when you meet this person physically, you have no idea how you will find him, only fate will lead you to him.

☼Only one of the soulmates - once they meet - can remember the other's face, that person is unable to count, so the other soulmate has to feel that they are destined, or not done at all.

☾you are born destined for someone, some people for failures, end up having no one, and / or if your person dies, or chooses not to be reciprocal, you cannot have another soulmate, so you will end up alone *.

* Relationships outside soulmate systems are much rejected by society but exist.

• Further details will be explained throughout the development.

• forgive me the mistakes.

• hope you enjoy it, good read!


	2. Jamais Vu

"All my words are afraid of what I have never seen  
And try to escape  
But still, you grab them  
My shadow grows  
My life and you are the same  
So my medicine is your medicine. "

Destiny: Combination of circumstances or events that act in an inevitable way.

I always believed in destiny.

With every step I take, something is already expected to happen, whether good or bad, I trust that everything will fall into place at the end.

I think about destiny every day, I believe everything happens for a reason, that we all have a way to go, and that it will always somehow come to us.

Fate can be termed as some person, as some situation. But it will always exist. Someone will be your destiny and your destiny will be that someone.

To be honest, I hope my destiny works, and takes me to that someone.

Since I was seventeen - when it all began - I have been expecting this.

Dreaming of a beautiful life with someone, remembering the feeling when you wake up and not being able to remember the person's face, is certainly the most agonizing situation anyone can go through.

Now with nineteen years old, studying music at the University of Seoul, orphan since I know myself, bankrupt and with only two friends, every day I still wake up waiting for my destiny.

I could not put into words the feeling of knowing that someone out there is waiting for me, as I wait for him, dreams give us a good preview of what your life can be like when you finally find your someone.

Your soulmate. Your soul mate.

What you lack, that someone can complete.

Oh my soulmate ...

He is kind and intelligent, is affectionate and does everything to see me smiling, makes my heart beat at an incredibly fast pace, and would surely be a great companion.

How do I know all this?

I don't know, I just feel. I feel safe when I wake up, I feel happy when I open my eyes and even not remembering his face, or his name, or where he lives, I just feel, feel happiness, after waking up dreaming of a walk in the park, or just everyday moments spent together in my dreams.

He is an amazing man, with whom I want to form my family, after all, he is destiny to me.

You would be in agony if you were in my shoes, not knowing how you will get to this person, thinking every day about how it will be when you meet, thinking about how you will feel.

But you can't command destiny, that's the fun after all, what would be the fun of choosing your own destiny when yours is written and that's all you need?

Having a destined soulmate not only leaves a person who fits you perfectly, but also makes you feel confident that you will never be alone, that someone will be your safe haven and you will be lovers, as in dreams.

Fate just needs to get you in the way, it is in charge of it, and you will find out soon, at the right time, it will come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so happy that you're reading this ! follow me on twitter and let me know what you're thinking @/sopebuby <3


	3. when the day met the night

"When the moon found the sun  
He looked like he was barely hanging on  
But her eyes saved his life  
In the middle of summer." 

💭

I throw myself in the silence of my house, or more accurately, on my couch too old to tell how old it is.

My head hurts, my feet are killing me and what I want most now is to take a hot shower and sleep for the rest of the week.

Today is Monday, this would not be possible even in my dream.

Maybe in my dreams it would be, after all, everything is perfect and if I could, I would take something so that I could sleep peacefully forever, to dream forever.

But that will not happen, we are in the real world, where we need to take the reins and learn to cope with life.

I've been doing this since I was born.

I hear knocking on the door, almost compared to the knocking on my head. Some days better than others Yoongi, always remember this.

I rise grudgingly and walk to the door, where tireless knocking continues to ring.

"Min Yoongi." Jin hyung appears in my field of vision when I open the door, he screams very loudly or I am bothering with everything around me.

"Good night, I'm dying." As soon as I look at my friend, he doesn't really bother when I turn my back, he closes the door behind him, and follows me to the couch.

"And what's new, you always are." I agree, even with my eyes closed I can tell that he is perfectly seated on my other couch, while I lazily lie on another.

"I went to college, then went all afternoon handing out resumes and getting rejected." I sigh, remembering the scorching sun I had to face today. "I just got home."

My last weeks have been like this, ending me every day chasing after some good heart that can hire me, but my quests have been in vain so far.

Why am I so desperate?

I have lived all my life in an orphanage when we turned seventeen and entered college we received help from the government until we were nineteen.

I just turned nineteen. And I'm broke.

Of course, I wasn't silly to the point of not forewarning myself and saving some of my earnings for an emergency, which is what's happening now.

It's not like it's a huge amount that I could easily live the rest of my life or at least part of it, on the contrary, it's very little, less than necessary to live and afford my daily costs.

Seokjin and Namjoon are helping me a lot about this, I am very grateful to them, my brothers at heart, with whom I grew up, to whom I owe everything and a little more, who taught me everything I know.

Without them I would not be here.

And even if they help me, I can't live forever with my small savings and the help - which I always refuse to accept - that they offer with a good heart.

That's why I desperately need a job.

"I'm here to solve your problems." Jin hyung captures my attention, solving my problems is all I want right now.

I sit and watch the man in front of me, then wait for him to continue.

"Do you remember Taehyung?" He waits a moment, truly waiting for me to remember the name he quoted, or for me to give a positive answer. But I don't really remember, I don't know how he asks me these things, I don't remember what I ate yesterday, if I ate at all.

He sighs in surrender as I stare at him, clearly confused. "He's an acquaintance of mine, we had an affair once and we still talk."

Oh sure, Jin hyung and his "friends".

"Getting to the point." He goes on. "We were talking last night, and I, as your best friend, threw something about a job in the air. I guess I never told you but he's quite rich and has an important business, so ... I thought maybe he would have some job available."

Almost jumping with excitement, hearing that makes me completely happy, maybe this is my chance.

"And then?" I ask excitedly, I hardly feel the tiredness in my body anymore.

"He said he has a job." Seokjin speaks, and I try to stop myself from jumping on him and showing how relieved I am to hear that. "But it's not with him. Taehyung said he has a super rich friend who is CEO of a super giant company and needs a private assistant to sort out minor things and I don't know ... maybe take care of his dog. "

I don't care what this job is, I need it, would accept anything.

"But he pays well, and it can be a good job for you, you know how to do everything." I can't stand and run to hug him, I really don't know what I'd do without him.

"Thanks, Jin hyung, I don't even know how to thank you." I hold him in my arms, showing my gratitude.

"You don't even know if you'll be accepted yet." He speaks as I walk away and give him some breathing space.

"Don't even think about it, I'll get this job." I will certainly try my best, I do not quite understand what I will have to do but I will go into it head on, and face my obligations, start my new life without help.

"I'm happy to help, and I really hope you can." He stares at me happy, I can see that he is sincere, he has always been sincere to me. "I brought food, you shower and I'll prepare." Seokjin gets up and I see him heading to the kitchen before entering, looks at me and points toward the bathroom, as if ordering me to get up.

I love your protective and careful instinct with me. We both smile at each other and he continues on his way, accompanied by bags he carries in one hand.

Relief hits me full, happy smile, in weeks this is the first time I have truly breathed in my real life.


	4. let her go

"Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Same old empty feeling in your heart  
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast  
Well, you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
'Cause you loved her too much  
And you dived too deep"

Waking up can be hard work for some. I love to sleep and dream, waking up from sleep is rewarding when you felt happy doing it. Waking up feeling light and feeling what it's like to be loved is probably what someone else expects to happen, that your dreams will come true, and that you can feel that way in real life.

That day, the awakening was involuntary and the calm and lightness were far from happening, when you think that everything may just be an illusion and that it cannot be happening, when what you never expected to happen, hits you right on, ending so with your fairy tale.

I was totally not expecting to wake up from one of my wonderful dreams next to my beloved, with my new boss' face stamping my memories.

My awakening was confusing, but I know it was not like any other. I not only remembered the sensations I lived in the dream, but also the face of those who were there with me, a face that now does not leave my mind, not because I am happy, it was nothing that I never expected, I am intrigued and still trying to recover.

This can't be happening, right?

I am going crazy or I just saw my boss's face - impolite and flirtatious - being the most loving and respectful man of my dreams.

I'm definitely going crazy, this must be some failure. I must have thought too much of this man, too irritated by all the shame and intimidation I had to endure with him, being hit by his blatant flirtations.

Is he my ... soulmate?

No. How strange it would be.

He's completely the opposite of the man of my dreams.

The man of my dreams smiles and his smile is capable of illuminating even the darkest place on the planet, he is polite and would never flirt with someone out of nowhere, he is charming and shines like a star, nothing like the man who did played me and intimidated me as much as he could.

I'll move today, how am I going to make it?

I need to be focused, I can't quit this job, how can I graduate and be stable?

After all ... I can't run from him forever. I will wake up every day with his face stamped on my dreams, my thoughts and now, my reality.

I ended up taking the test after the interview, and luckily, I managed to be admitted to the vacancy. He gave me today to organize my things - which are not many - and  
to be able to move soon.

Fortunately? Unfortunately? I couldn't say.

My thoughts are racing, in another dimension, I can clearly remember all dreams, from the first, some clearer than others, but all with your face, clarifying my feelings.

I found myself smiling when I remembered our first kiss, a while ago, we were at a lake, he told me how happy he were to find me, how his days were better when he woke up, when everything seemed impossible to hold, he said that I was his light. And so we kissed.

I remember waking up that day with eyes full of tears, it was the most agonizing day of all, I remembered your words, and what I most wanted, was to be able to find you, and be your light.

...

I look at the boxes, very few in fact, and reflect with myself if what I am about to do would be a good idea, doubt hits me hard, but the thought of all those dreams and the sensations a thousand times more active, encourage me to push negative thoughts and just follow my destiny.

My destiny couldn't be wrong, right?

If he somehow took me to you, it was for a reason and clearly, the reason has been going on for two years.

Maybe, just maybe, something deep in my chest is jumping with joy and excitement, because I finally found you, I should be celebrating and throwing myself into your arms at once.

But why am I scared?

Maybe it’s because I’m afraid you’re not going to respond to me, something inside me says that you don’t care about feelings, I don’t know why I think that, but I can’t stop, it all leads me to question whether it was good to meet you, that you were not what I expected, nothing compared to what I had dreamed of.

Without further ado, I say goodbye to my - old, worn - out apartment, and head towards the car waiting for me, which will take me to my destination.

I told Jin and Namjoon everything last night, they were waiting for me when I got home, and they celebrated with me, my new job and my new life.

I just didn't expect everything to fall apart when I woke up.

The nervousness hits me a thousand times more, compared to the first time I was here, it's not like the nervousness of wanting to impress and get the job that I wanted before, it's the nervousness of having to face a man I barely know and now, supposedly, he is the perfect man for me, the one who is my destiny.

I ring the bell, like the first time, a woman opens the door for me, I don't feel better, it seems that everything is closer to happening, and that at any moment I can see it and I won't know how to act.

"Yoongi, right?" She smile. "Come, you can come in." She makes room again and helps me with the two boxes that were accompanying me, in addition to my suitcase.

I never had many things, in fact I never had anything, I couldn't spend the little money they gave me, and it's not like I'm going to earn everything by living in an orphanage.

"You can settle here. This room is yours now." I hear the woman address me, until now, I was just following her down the huge corridor, after climbing the stairs, and consequently arriving at a door, which we are standing by now.

"Do you live here too?" After entering the room, I try to make everything less embarrassing and silent, telling how much I am still nervous about all this situation, I still try to remain calm.

"No. I just work here, I clean the house for Mr. Jung." She replies, as she arranges the sheets on my bed.

"Can you come down with me? I need to give you some instructions." When she finishes what she was doing, it catches my attention again, and I nod, then following the woman around the house again.

"I don't cook here, Mr. Jung almost never eats at home, I don't know if he mentioned it to you, but you can feel free and use whatever you need." I'm surprised, not that I'm finding it bad, I cook very well, I've always had to do everything myself, cooking my own food won't bother me at all.

I nod and remain silent, at any moment I hope the man of my dreams arrives, and so I pass out in the middle of this kitchen.

"Mr. Jung left some time ago, I don't know if he will be back today." The woman speaks, leaving the kitchen. I keep following her. "You don't need to be ashamed, you can feel at home, you've already received some orders and schedules, right? You'll be fine, Yoongi." She turns to me saying, she seems to be very nice. "Do not get nervous." I smile.

"Thank you very much, I will do well. And yes, he has already gone through everything I need to know."

The woman smiles, and I watch her leave, after saying goodbye to me.

Leaving me alone, in this huge house.

Me, and the silence.

...

I haven't seen him in a week.

Without a trace.

The week flew by, I answered calls, made appointments, discovered - hours after the day I arrived - that he really does have a dog.

Michey, I saw it on your leash. My company during that week.

The nice woman comes twice a week. We talked sometimes, she is more friendly than she looks and helped me not to feel so alone.

I always call Jin and Namjoon, we spent Saturday together, it was fun, I love spending time with them. I haven't told you what's going on with me yet. I'm not supposed to hide anything from them, but for some reason, I'm not ready to talk about it.

Dreams remain, end up getting more accustomed, I don't wake up scared or confused anymore, nor do I feel that lightness and feelings of passion, just comfortable.

What remains for me is to accept that the man of my dreams may not respond to me, since he does not even speak to me, or appears in his own home.

Today is Friday, my routine is the same every day.

I wake up, I eat something, I feed Mickey and I start work, some days are fuller than others, and it can be more tiring than it looks, lunch, in the afternoon I go to college, come home, sometimes I eat, and I'm going to sleep.

I ended up prying a little bit, maybe it's a little impolite on my part, but when you have nothing to do, it is best to go out there and explore this giant house.

The garden is huge, I spend a good part of it, playing with Michey in my spare time, I can clearly get used to it, sometimes I feel alone, but I end up sinking into the books and keep my focus on studies.

But my favorite part for sure, is the giant library of the house, which I discovered by chance, following Mickey.

Now I spend most of my breaks there, on Sunday I got completely lost and discovered that the collection of books ranges from love poems, to tales of fiction and terror. It's very peculiar, his taste, maybe I just need to give him a chance.

I just got back from college, it is already night and I go into the dark and lonely house again, the puppy comes to meet me, I go down and caress his fluffy fur, he really became my friend.

I'm not hungry today, so I go straight to my room, put my things aside and run for my duties. Every day, I write down all of your appointments in a separate notebook, then go over your schedule.

Every morning he leaves the agenda in his office, every morning I pick it up, when I get back from college, I clear all my appointments and leave it in the same place. It was like this all week, I know he comes home, but we never met, of course, the house is huge, he works practically all day, it’s not like we’re always going to meet.

I finish cleaning up and head over to his office, it's a little late and the house is quiet, I think he won't be back today, so I just take my hand as usual, and open the door.

My breathing stopped.

The agenda fell.

The woman on his lap looked at me.

He looked at me.

His eyes looked furious, or I was seeing too much, or seeing nothing, I couldn't say.

I was stopped, I didn't really understand what that meant. I was too shaken to think about anything, so I was standing there, my mouth was open in shock, my mind was disturbing me, telling myself how stupid I was being.

Believing that my happy ending would be real, that he could really like me, that we were destined, but what I saw, it was as if all my desire for everything to work out, was gone.

How can I be so stupid? Of course, he wouldn't fall in love with me, of course he didn't feel we were destined, of course it wouldn't be that easy for you, Yoongi.

"I'm sorry." I get out of my daydreams and turn my back toward the exit, my throat is stuck and the urge to cry invades me quickly.

"Yoongi, wait." I hear Hoseok approach and stop when I'm outside the door.

So I look at him, trying not to show how much it affected me, he doesn't know anything, he would find me a stranger if I started to cry because I saw him making out with someone else.

"You should have knocked on the door." His speech comes out normally, without any flaws, unlike me.

I can't say anything.

"I cherish my privacy and do not allow you to enter my office like this, even if I am not at home, you must make sure of it, so situations like this do not occur again."

"Sure, Mr. Jung. It won't be repeated." With my head down, trying to ignore the lump in my throat, I withdraw from his vision. I don't believe he could be so rude, what is your problem?

I run to my room, sink under the covers, I don't want to know anything else, I don't want to hear anything, I just want to cry in peace, how long have I been crying ... Letting all my frustrations wet my pillow, until I fall asleep.

At least in my dreams I am happy, at least I have you in my arms, at least you say you love me in my dreams, but it is all an illusion, you will never love me real, you will never be in my arms.

After all, what was I waiting for? That you fell in love with me, as with others? That we would live happily ever after the moment we saw each other?

Perhaps this will serve as a sign that not everything will really be like a dream.

That night, I didn't dream about you.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so happy that you're reading this ! follow me on twitter and let me know what you're thinking @/sopebuby <3


End file.
